4789

God protected me over 4789 miles (7707 kilometers, Hannah) this semester. I recently added it up. I have been going so many different places and I've spent hours and hours on the road. So many different trips. Some planned for months, some spontaneous. It seemed like I never stopped. I was always going someplace new. 

Trip #1: September 29. Atlanta, GA

Total Trip Miles: 269

Ok, so I know that driving from Lookout Mountain, Georgia to Atlanta is hardly considered a road trip. Not at all actually. But hey, it adds up, and I did it twice within three weeks. So that was like eight hours of car time. So that counts for some miles. And it was so exciting, I was finally going to pick up Hannah from the airport!! For months people kept asking me when she was coming. "September 29!" Finally got to hop in a borrowed car, plug Atlanta's airport into the GPS, blast some music, and go get her! Doesn't she look great after her nine hour flight?? ☺

Trip #2: October 11-13. St. Louis, MO

Total Trip Miles: 905

This one was pretty spontaneous. Hannah was still around. It was Homecoming weekend. But Homecoming just wasn't the same without our two favorite alumni, Kevin and Virginia Witten. So, yep we rented a car and made the 6 hour trip out there. What a weekend. It was so spontaneous and I feel like with everything we did we were there for a lot longer than two days. We got to see downtown St. Louis (ok, the Arch and an old church) and go paddle boating! Tried some fantastic custard and got to hear all the behind-the-scenes wedding details from a few months before. It was such a great trip, and this road trip alone could probably have its own entire blog written about it. Hannah and I sang some pretty great songs on that road trip that, well, maybe I don't want to talk about. :) 

Trip #3: October 16. Atlanta, GA 

Total Trip Miles: 269

Well this one was definitely a bummer as it was when I had to bring Hannah back to the airport so she could go back to Germany. I tried keeping her here but she had important things to do back home. Like school. Go to a conference. Hang out with her family. Whatever. Anyway, so she had hung out with me and my friends the past two and a half weeks and it was so much fun. I brought her to both Chick-fil-A and Waffle House for the first time. We did a ton of stuff. It was pretty exhausting. But so fun. And thankfully a lot of it is caught on camera. Well, here's the last picture taken of the five of us that hung out those two weeks. It was pretty great. The drive back from Atlanta not so great though. I was sad!

Trip #4: October 19-22. Savannah, GA

Total Trip Miles: 746

Fall Break! With Amy, Emily, and Rebekah. We had been planning this for months! As this was my third trip within one week, I was definitely ready to go crash on the beach. It was great. It was so warm. And sunny. And we saw a beach wedding. And we ate lots of Oreos. And stayed up late playing Scattergories (talk about partying). It was by far my favorite Fall Break ever and with three of my favorite people ever. We explored downtown Savannah blasting our favorite Fall Break songs and taking pictures everywhere we went. And, of course, we had to experience the sunrise over the ocean. 

Trip #5. October 28. Rome, GA

Total Trip Miles: 130

 This one was spontaneous. One minute I am sitting at work in the Psych Department having a lovely conversation with someone, the next minute Emily walks in saying, "Hey, do you want to go to Rome with me and surprise Kevin?" "Yeah. When?" "Now." "Sweet." And we went. We took the back way, through the most beautiful Southern countryside I have ever seen. Blasting Cinema, All Night, Forever, A Capella, Wrecking Ball and a ton of other catchy songs that we could sing at the top of our lungs to. We finally got there, crept through the parking lot  And boy, did we surprise Kevin at work. He was dressed as a prince for the Pirate/Princess Day. And he definitely did not expect to see Emily show up. Or me I guess. Well that was cute and all but I was freakin pumped to meet a pirate!! We ate some delicious chicken sandwiches, stared at all the adorable little children all dressed up, and of course, got hit on by our waiter. What a nice way to escape for an afternoon with one of my best friends.

Trip #6. November 1-3. Alabaster, AL

Total Trip Miles: 327

This one was a bit more planned. I had to meet my nephew Reid! he was born September 4 and I hadn't been able to see him yet, so Rebekah and I drove out there and spent a relaxing weekend with my niece and nephew. It was pretty uneventful. I mean, we went to a thrift store too (What, what, what, what?), but not much happened. It was good to be away from the busyness of school and to spend time with two of the cutest babies on the planet. Finley is a blast. Reid's adorable. It was good to see Em and Lance too. It had been since Easter that I had seen them. I'm glad I was finally able to make it out there. And, ya know, Finley looks so happy to see me. With her little chicken nuggets. Not to mention she looks just like me and takes after her Auntie Megan in ever way. That's just how it works.

Trip #7. November 27-December 1. Anderson, SC

Total Trip Miles: 459

I don't think many people would take up an offer to be a third wheel, but well, I do. Greg and Janessa invited me months ago to go with them to Greg's house for Thanksgiving break. I hadn't planned anything yet (it was June!) so I gladly accepted and then forgot. Well, they didn't forget and sometime in October reminded me. So we went. I met Greg's parents and then experienced major culture shock Thanksgiving day with his very Southern and yet very Asian family. That dinner was delicious and yet the whole thing was something like I'd never experienced before, even though I've been in the south two and a half years now. The whole weekend was a lot of fun, though. Anderson is a cute little town with its very own Moonshine Distillery plenty of Antique Stores. But really, though, those antique stores were so crowded, I think that's where everyone goes for a good time in that town (but hey, look at us. We're naturals). Other than that, I got some great Black Friday deals and (a highlight) I got to shoot a gun! A lot happened in those few short days, and there's not many people I would rather third wheel for for an entire break, but I had so much fun with Greg and Janessa. 

Trip #8. December 2-4. Crown Point, IN

Total Trip Miles: 1127

I guess you could call this spontaneous, but it was probably the most necessary of all of these trips. Last day of Thanksgiving Break I found out my mom was brought to the hospital for a major blood clot. I wrote a blog about it already actually. Anyway, so Em and I were freakin out and had to see her. I got back from Anderson on Sunday, stayed at Rebekah's house Sunday night, and then Monday night met Emily and Lance in Nashville at 9 and made it to Jess's at about 3 in the morning. Four hours later we were up and headed to the hospital to surprise Mom and Dad! Basically scared them out of their minds, actually. That day in the hospital was so great, you should read my other lengthy blog about it. But then we had to get back. So we drove all through the night again and I got back to school after a week of being gone and after sleeping in five different houses while living out of the same tiny suitcase. It was a crazy week. And I was in Indiana for about 24 hours. So hectic! So exhausting. And so good to see Mom. She's doing fantastically well now by the way. 

Trip #9. December 19-Present. DeMotte, IN

Total Trip Miles: 557

Well finally the end of the semester came. It was a crazy two weeks since I got back from seeing Mom in the hospital. I spent hours in the library, I didn't have a social life, and I drank probably way too much coffee. The end finally came, I had a really fun drive with Katie, Tim, and Will. We stopped just once, at the sketchiest gas station that had a bathroom with no soap but a condom dispenser. Priorities, right? And now I've been home for a week, just hanging out with my parents, taking them to all their doctor and hospital appointments. I've been hanging out with Levi a lot. You know, he's pretty dang cute. Being home is kind of weird but it's nice not having any homework to do and I have been sleeping a lot. It's been nice. In a few weeks I'll be drivin back to school. Hopefully next semester I will be spending a little bit less time in the car.

Total Miles: 4789

Well.....that's it. I had a couple people guess how many miles I'd traveled this semester and they guessed in the 2000s. Nope. Seemed like I was always going somewhere new. It was pretty great. I have so many great memories with so many awesome people. 

Here, I made a map of all the places that called me away from Lookout Mountain.

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Together in a Hospital

On Sunday my mom was put in the hospital because of a major blood clot in her lungs. It could have killed her if it had been any bigger. Way to scare me so badly, Mom. Made me bite off all my fingernails (and let me tell you, they had been lookin' good).

By Monday at 5:00 PM Emily and I decided we needed to go see her. Nothing else would possibly put our minds at ease. We left about two hours later.

The next 36 hours were a blur. But a wonderful blur.

We didn't get to Jess's house til 3:30...ya know.....in the morning. After four hours of sleep, it was time to go see Mom. We were so close, I was so excited! Poor Mom was sitting in the hospital looking forward to Skyping me a few hours later. I think what I did was better though.

Emily, Lance, and I waited in the waiting room for a few minutes while Jess went in to see Mom and Dad. Of course I was standing there imaging all the worst possible ways to surprise them. Like just bursting through the door at full speed screaming and throwing confetti. It'd probably give her a real heart attack. Or we could have dressed up like nurses and gone in to give her a shot or check her oxygen or something and then BAM! it's us!! So many possibilities of freaking them out.

But I think what we did did the trick anyway. Jess walked in first saying, "You have visitors." There were immediate tears (ok more like mega-crazy-super loud sobs). Mom couldn't stop the flood of tears as she hugged Emily. Dad jumped up and hugged me, both of us crying. It was my turn to hug Mom next. We just couldn't stop crying. The nurses ran in the room, thinking something was horribly wrong, when in reality it was just the opposite.

Those first few minutes were so great, even if we were all crying. (Jess told me later on how funny it all actually was.) Mom was always holding one of our hands, I think it took her a while to believe that we were really there.

Those ten hours were wonderful, hard as it was why we were there. Nurses and doctors kept coming in talking about horrible things like platelets, veins, shots, needles, heartbeats and all those freaky medical things that I hate. Emily had to give me her chair because I looked pale. I took a lot of drinks to the drinking fountain. I'm really not a tower of strength when it comes to medical things like that.

But then it was finally my turn to take the lead on something. By now Mom was out of ICU, and she desperately needed her hair washed. The nurse brought us the weirdest looking pan to put under her head, so she didn't have to sit up at all. Then there was another bucket that could catch all the water as it ran out of the pan. I assigned everyone to their jobs, as I was the main "doctor" in this "procedure." Lance filled the cup with water so I could pour it in Mom's hair. She even asked who was in charge of the temperature of the water. I said, "A boy, I'm sorry." Emily held the bucket to catch all the used water, while Jessica was my main assistant in keeping the pan level under Mom's bed and getting me towels when needed and, of course, opening the shampoo bottle for me.

Mom just laid there smiling and enjoying the head massage that came with me washing it. And of course I tried freaking her out with the most doctor-like language I could come up with (to get back at them all for making fun of me so much!). "First step is to make an incision," and "I'm going to have to prepare my hands for this, this is dangerous." It was a blast. We were all laughing. If only the nurses had seen us (and Mom's wicked awesome Mohawk I gave her after I had the shampoo all lathered in). Pretty sure I even threw in a free commercial for Garnier's shampoo. It's for dry and frizzy hair. They should thank me.

She seemed ten times better after having clean hair. We all just hung out. Talked about our Thanksgivings, Skyped Finley in Alabama, read the cards Mom had gotten, hung out with the random visitors from church that came, feasted on hospital food together. It was great. I remember one time Jessica said, "Mom, want us to put on the TV or play some music while we sit here?" and Mom said with closed eyes, "No, just keep talking, your voices are my music." That made me happy.

I think the highlight for us all was Skyping with Sam. I think we woke him up with our call, but oh well. He's always been a morning person and he sounded like he was in a fantastic mood. He and Dorinda had Mellow in their bed with him. Typical Sam. He made us all laugh so much. It's like we were all together (except Josh who was at work and, though I'm probably the only one that thought of this, my future husband that is unfortunately missing out on cool things like this). Ok, but the four of us originals were there with Mom and Dad. Even if Sam was thousands of miles away. I kept looking over at Mom. Laying there just listening to her four favorite people talking and laughing. I notice things like that. I actually almost started crying at one point. Happy tears. It was so bittersweet; it's so rare that we're all together. But when we are, everything just seems right. We all laugh and joke nonstop. I don't think people understand how cool it is to see their entire family so often. I envy that.

The doctor came (or was he a surgeon....you know how I get....tuning people out when they start talking about medical/body/surgery type of things), anyway, whatever he was, he told us (all of us...Sam was still watching from the iPad) how there was a 50/50 chance that she'll need surgery. He held up his fingers to show us how big the blood clot was. Yikes. I didn't know that kind of stuff happened. Well, I just felt my heart skip kinda funny just at the thought of this blood stuff. I'm ending this paragraph now. I'm not the one to give these details.

We got a picture with Mom (Mom and her girls...heck yes I'm one of those people). I don't care if the picture was taken in a hospital. We all look so happy. But then came the hard part. I hate goodbyes in general. But this one was especially hard. We couldn't stop crying. I mean, she could have died because of this blood clot. This was pretty serious. None of us wanted to leave her. Seriously, let me just fail my exams and I'll just hang out in the hospital with her. We couldn't stop crying. I left a cute little wet spot on Dad's shirt from crying into it. I kept hugging Mom, holding her hand, crying. Making her promise she would be ok. I kissed her forehead. Leaving was so hard. The second I left Room 209 I just wanted to run right back in.

It was such a great day. I kind of hate saying that, ya know, since I was visiting one of my Favorite People Ever in the hospital, but hey....it was just so great. Filled with so much laughter and so much crying, but mostly just so much joy because we got to be all together.

God is so awesome. He's been teaching me so much about the power of prayer. I have had so many people tell me they were praying for my mom. It's been pretty cool. And how He brought us all together just for a couple of hours. It was amazing.

That's right, Wetselaars/Hubers/Millers. We're pretty great. Love you all.

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South Carolina

I've been wanting a new design for my blog for quite some time now. The yellow was starting to get on my nerves, and I like the layout of this a lot better. But I'm actually surprised I last with that design that long. I usually like changing things up. What do you think?

In other news....yikes it's almost December. No Shave November has been good. Yes, I've been doing it. 

I've been in South Carolina these past few days enjoying Thanksgiving with two of my good friends, Greg and Janessa. I got to shoot a gun. I got a bulls-eye. I also experienced major southern culture shock with Greg's extended family. They're all wonderful, but that Thanksgiving was one like I have never experienced. But I've been eating wonderful food and have gotten to sleep a lot. Not to mention I got some incredible Black Friday deals (three new pairs of boots!!). It's been a great break. It's been good to be away from Covenant. And it's my first time in South Carolina!

I really don't have much else to write. Honestly, I was so excited about my new blog design I've been working on while Cute Little Sleeping Janessa lays next to me, that I just wanted to write a new post right away.

Hope everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving. I'm guessing I'm the only one that was voluntarily a third wheel for the entire break.

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The Little Things

I don't know why it's always the little things that stick out.

Em and I were in the Psych Department. It was probably about 9:30 at night.

You know, why not. Why not blast Stay the Night really loudly. It was just the two of us in there.

Me (dancing in my seat), "Weaves, can it be on our Covenant bucket list to have a dance party in Dr. Wright's office before we graduate?"

She was already out of her seat. Running to his office. Not sure why he always keeps it open even when he's not there. Because there was nothing to stop us at all from running in there at full speed.

We danced in the dark office with the music blasting. Surrounded by his huge green chair, psychology textbooks, every copy of the DSM, old counseling videotapes, filing cabinets filled with psychology articles. Everything psychology. But we just jumped up and down, dancing like crazy, no one around to judge us.

He'll never know. I see his open door now every day and smile. He has no idea. I'm glad about that.



Here you go......go ahead and have your own dance party:  Stay the Night

It's the little things like that that are the most fun.

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Addictions

Walking in the door, I was really uncomfortable; I made Emily go in first. The meeting was just starting. There were anywhere between eighty and a hundred people there, all in one huge circle made of three or four rows. It was my first Narcotics Anonymous meeting.

The leader stressed throughout that everyone belonged in the group. Pssh. Whatever. I didn't. ("I'm not an addict! I'm just here for class!")

And then they shared their stories.

These inspired me in a way that I did not expect. They were all so broken. Daily craving the drugs that had ruined their lives. Somebody explained it perfectly. “One pill is too many, but a thousand is never enough.” Another said, “You can’t think to change your behavior, you have to change your behavior to change your thinking.” That one hit home with me. And I'm not an addict.

Ok so then I started realizing how wrong I had been at first. I did belong in this meeting. 

I was amazed at how everything applied to my life. I have never done drugs and never intend to. But, to be perfectly honest, I'm an addict. I am addicted to my sin. I sin every single day; I try finding things to take the place of God in my heart and in my life. I make idols out of my problems; I put my trust in other sinners. Nearly everything these people said spoke to me more than I thought it ever would. I was amazed by the testimony of these people and their stories of how God brought them closer to Him. One man said, “I hate the disease, but I thank God I’m an addict.” It’s amazing how God draws us closer to Him with terrible situations, addiction or otherwise, that brings Him more glory because of how it enlightens us of our need for Him.

And the way they emphasized service. One man said, “Service is where the real dope is.” He told everyone that the next time they were struggling with craving for a drug that instead they should call someone else to ask how they are doing. Service can really give a new meaning and satisfaction in life. Again, this applied to my life so much. I can think about my problems a lot, but one main way to take my mind off of them is to think about other people’s problems and care for and serve them.

The end of the meeting was the most amazing part. We were asked if there was anyone that wanted to give up drugs and become clean. One woman immediately stood up, went to receive her first keychain in a series of keychains they get for how long they go without drugs, and was embraced by the leader while everyone applauded the most genuinely happy applause I have ever heard. Everyone was truly celebrating how this woman, addicted probably for years, was finally taking the first step in deciding to be clean and give up an addiction that had consumed her for so long. Everyone seemed to know how hard her decision was, but they were all there ready to support her. It was one of the most amazing celebrations I have seen. Several other people were celebrating different amounts of time that they got new keychains for. Everyone kept applauding and shouting, “Keep comin’ back!” The community and support were incredible. I couldn’t help but wonder why we as believers don’t encourage each other more often like that. Each member of the group was really truly there to support everyone else no matter where they were in the process of giving up their addiction. Each person owned up to their addiction without shame, proudly shouting their name followed by, “And I’m an addict!” They all knew they had problems and they all knew they needed help. Each of the stories told was to encourage others in the same situation. They were all so accepting, so loving, and so excited to celebrate with people their desire to give up their addiction.  

Ok. So I was amazed at how much I fit in at this meeting. I did not expect to feel that at all. Everything these people said seemed to apply to my life. We are all sinners, consumed by earthly pleasures distracting us from God. Nothing can take the place of God in our lives, though we try in many ways. This meeting showed me what the community of believers should look like. We are all fallen sinners trying to fill the void in our lives that only God can truly fill. We must all come alongside each other and serve each other, helping to help lift each other up, away from our sins and addictions and closer to God instead.

Going to this meeting made me really uncomfortable at first. But then it showed me that I belonged there just as much as everyone else and the stories shared impacted me and revealed to me how fallen and broken I am and how truly in need I am of a great God.

My name is Megan and I'm an addict.

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Two Weeks

I can't believe it, Hannah. Two weeks from now I'll be getting you from the Atlanta airport. It'll be packed, I'll be a bit freaked out being there alone. But I can't wait to see you again.

I might have to dramatically push some people out of the way. Stinks to be them.

This mountain hasn't been the same without you. Come back!!

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Baseball Field

     Time after time. I find myself drawn to the farthest place on campus. The baseball field. It began in early May. I wanted a place to go away from everyone. I went on runs, thinking I was getting in shape, but I would just stop by the baseball field, sit in the dugout. A lot happened this summer, and a lot changed. But one thing that didn't change, and still hasn't, was how drawn I was to this place. This huge field that some people don't even know is tucked away behind the softball field. I have no connection with it; I've never watched a game there. But for how vast and peaceful it was, I always found myself drawn to it. I probably spent hours there praying. Sometimes jogging laps, but mostly just sitting and praying. For wisdom. For strength. For my friends. For the summer. I guess that's where I went a couple times a week. Just to sit with God.

     That field, and those dusty old dugouts, is wonderful, and by far one of my favorite places on this campus.

----

     My friends and I liked to sprint together this summer. We drove to Shadowlands late one night, me, Hannah, Damarise, Sonya, Micah, Jimmy, and Matt, and found people already there. Playing soccer. Nope. I knew where we should go. "Just drive up to the baseball field. It's a great place to run." After all, I did this every day, why not have people with me for once. I don't think some of them realized how big of a field it was. How much space we had for just a few people. We threw the football a while. I wish I could throw as far as boys. But at least my spiral is better. But that was just a warm up. It was time to sprint. We lined up at the far end, getting ready to run straight across. Lined up, I was suddenly uncomfortable with how many people were going to beat me. I'm proud of my six high school track records, but all those boys were so much faster. Someone gave us the three command start. Off we went. There's something about sprinting....it's like I can suddenly breathe even better. Everything seems right in the world and I don't ever want to stop. The boys destroyed me. I guess I tried to just ignore them.
     I asked one or two of them to run my pace with me. Just one sprint. I wanted someone my speed to really push me. They did. But then they just went right ahead and beat me at the end. We ran back and forth on that baseball field so many times. Not until I was tired did we stop. I probably could have gone longer though. I don't miss high school, but I miss running. I miss being one of the fastest. I miss running on an actual track. But I guess that baseball field was almost just as good.

----

     Late one afternoon, it was cloudy and cool. Work was done for the day. Faith and I couldn't stand our apartment anymore, so we just went. On a walk to wherever we ended up. I guess I knew where I was going to lead us. We got to the baseball field, went to my usual dugout and just talked, staring at the empty field. Some things this summer were really rough, for both of us. But we were there for each other.
     It started to rain. Just a little at first. It was refreshing. Glancing around the dugout, I was thrilled to find a whole crate of baseballs. Twenty at least. I smiled at Faith. "Let's throw them." We walked along the gravel, stopping when we came to the perfect spot. The whole field was open before us. So much grass. We threw. As far as we could. Over and over. Until they were dispersed across the field.
     The rain got a lot heavier. Faith yelled and ran into the dugout. I picked up the baseballs and walked over and joined her. But then I smiled, unzipped my jacket, took my hair out of the ponytail, kicked off my shoes, and went back. It'd be more fun in the rain. More refreshing. I went to the second base and threw them (all mine this time) towards the dugout. Faith, dry in the dugout, cheered me on with each throw. I got soaking wet. It was pouring. I kept throwing them. My shirt stuck to me, my hair was in my face, as wet as if I'd just gotten out of a shower. But I threw them all and kept yelling and jumping up and down as if each throw was the winning pitch in the World Series.
     There's something about the rain. There's nothing quite as cleansing. That was the happiest I'd been in days.

----

     Late one night, I couldn't do any homework. I couldn't focus on anything. I had just gotten back from a memorial service. A memorial service I never ever would have wanted to go to. For one of my classmates. I cried a lot. I just couldn't stand it. He was so great. So strong in his faith. And day after day I find myself doubting God, having a hard time trusting Him in everything that is stressing me out. It made me feel awful.
     I made my roommate stop what she was doing. "I need to go on a walk." She dropped everything and, silently, came with me. We didn't talk for a long time. Maybe not until we got there.
     It was completely dark at the baseball field. It's not often that I go in the complete darkness. First making sure no one else was there, we went to the middle of the field. The grass was a bit damp. But that didn't stop us. We laid down on our backs. The sky was so clear. Hundreds of stars. It was amazing. Just thinking about how great and awesome God is....it gave me shivers. We stayed there for a long time. Rebekah knew I'd been having a rough day. I guess our whole school had been. I asked her what she was thinking about. "Megan," she said, "you have no idea how much God loves you."
     I think I started crying again.

----

     It was late evening. I was sitting on the bench in the dugout. A storm was coming. I could feel it in the wind. Temperature dropping, sky darkening. But I was angry.
     I knew what I was looking for, because I had looked for them before. I felt around in the crate on the shelf. I found them. Two dirty, old baseballs. Not as many as last time, but two was good. Smiling to myself, I kicked off my shoes, held onto my skirt blowing in the wind, and simply said to Amy, "Follow me."
     I tossed her one of the balls when we got to the center of the field. I didn't need to tell her what we were doing. We just threw them both into the outfield. As far as we could.
     There was lightning in the distance. We started to feel tiny drops of rain. It didn't matter.
     I walked over to the pitcher's mound. It was getting darker by the second but I could just make out home plate. I stood in the center of the mound, looked down at the red dirt in between my toes. I guess not many people stand on a pitcher's mound wearing a pretty white blouse, navy cardigan, and peach floral skirt. I guess clothes doesn't affect throwing ability, so I didn't care. I patted down my skirt, brushed my hair out of my eyes. Amy knew what I was doing. She knew I was upset. She gave me her baseball too.
     I threw it as hard as I could right over home plate. And again. And I just kept throwing over and over. Amy tossed it back. I could've kept going all night. It started to rain. The wind picked up. The clouds weren't just a thing in the distance. They were above us now. It was really dark. Hard to see home plate. But nothing stopped me.
     Amy finally walked back over to me. "Can we go?" Nope. It was time for me to vent. I guess I'd had a really long week, and I was so tired. There was a storm around us, we were getting wetter and wetter, our hair was blowing in our eyes, it was dark. But we stayed on the mound. In the middle of it all. I think I cried. But it just blended in with the rain drops on my face. Amy stood patiently. Letting the rain drench her, until I finally stepped off the mound to head back. I guess we couldn't be out there forever.

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     Sometimes I feel so trapped in at Covenant. But I guess I know where to always go.

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Be Still, My Soul

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.

Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.

Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,
And all is darkened in the vale of tears,
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.
Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

Be still, my soul: begin the song of praise
On earth, believing, to Thy Lord on high;
Acknowledge Him in all thy words and ways,
So shall He view thee with a well pleased eye.
Be still, my soul: the Sun of life divine
Through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine.

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Reid

I can't believe it. I have another nephew. He is so perfect.

Born today at 8 pounds, 8 ounces. 

Can't wait to meet the newest addition to our family! 

God is so good.

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Sailboat

It was about 8:30 on Navy Pier in Chicago. I was sitting on a bench talking with my dad. We had just spent the day using wrist bands to get tours on a whole bunch of old sailboats. The ships had been busy all day but from our bench we could tell that hardly anyone was touring them anymore. Dad and I were talking. Mom was shopping. We were just waiting for the fireworks over the lake.

Mom came back and sat by me and Dad. Wanting to give them a while alone on their anniversary, I left and walked down the pier. May as well go onto a sailboat by myself. No lines, no kids asking questions. Just me on the boat with the waves beneath me and a beautiful view of Navy Pier in front of me as the sky was getting darker by the minute, and the lights of the city behind me were getting brighter just as quickly. 

The man letting me onto the boat must have thought it odd that a girl my age would just be confidently walking onto the boat by myself. Oh well, I had the wrist band. He had to let me. 

I didn't really care much about the boat. It looked all the others, I didn't want to look around. I just went to the the far side and looked over the edge. Watched the Ferris wheel on the Pier go round and round with the most beautiful lights. It was peaceful. And let's be honest, Chicago is my favorite city in the world, I was soaking up the minutes I had to myself just to look at it.

But my peace was disturbed. I heard a voice next to me. "So, do you have any questions about our boat?" It was a crew member. I mentally rolled my eyes, not wanting to be bothered. I think I even said, "No I don't." But then thought more and decided to be polite. He didn't seem busy and wanted to talk to the one 'customer' that was stopped on their ship. May as well ask him some questions about himself. "How long have you been working on this boat?" (Three years.) "What's your favorite and least favorite part of sailing?" (I get to sail everyday. It's a double-edged sword.) 

I continued asking questions, but I hardly even looked at him, I was still just soaking in the city. I remember that I told him about how I'd wanted to climb up all the rope ladders to get to the very top of the sails. You know, like a pirate. Only I didn't say that. (And what's my problem, I'm scared of heights.) I think it made him laugh. He told me I wouldn't have made it up. Someone would stopped me, even if I had done my best to look like I knew what I was doing.

It was probably about 8:50. Still 40 minutes til the fireworks. "So are we allowed to watch the fireworks from the ship?" Well, oops, how was I supposed to know that the ship closed to the public at 9:00. And he told me that. Crew member man: "I didn't even know there were fireworks, and we're closed soon, but you might be able to stay on depending on who you ask." I felt bad. "It's ok, I have a great view from a bench on the pier! I'll just go back there, I didn't know we weren't supposed to be on the boat anymore." But I'd already asked the question and his wheels were turning in his mind to help me solve my 'problem.' "We might be able to get you to help us clean the boat and we'll let you stay on. I'll go ask." 

I think I just stood there stunned. I hadn't meant to ask to do something I wasn't supposed to do. I just thought it would be cool for my parents and I to watch fireworks from a really pretty ship. And hey, it was their anniversary, I had to do what I could. 

He came back with another crew member. "Hey, Megan," (heart stopped for a second how he knew my name, then realized I had told crew member #1 what it was), "I heard there was an issue and you're wondering if you can help us scrub our deck if we'll let you stay on to watch the fireworks." I probably really rolled my eyes this time. It had not ever been my idea to clean the boat. I was imagining myself on hands and knees with a bucket and a tiny little brush, scrubbing the thing all night long. But I just had to go with it. I heard myself saying, "Yeah, I'll help, I thought it'd be really cool for my parents and I to watch from here since it's such a pretty view. And after all, it is their 33rd anniversary." (Who could say No to someone's anniversary, right??). 

We talked a bit more. I think he asked if I could get my parents to bring beer. Um, nope. Not drinkin' with sailors. Not today. But he agreed. He had me call Dad. "Dad, I might be able to get us to watch the fireworks from here, even though it's closed. The only catch is I have to help them clean the boat." Of course my parents got a kick out of that. They marched on down the pier to join us, cameras out, all smiles, ready to meet the crew. 

Meanwhile, the first crew guy that talked to me handed me a brush (on a long handle like a broom) and told me to go behind the crew members that were spraying it down with water and sprinkling it with salt. He gave me a lesson on why they do that. I've forgotten. Then he laughed and apologized for making me clean the ship. After all, it hadn't been my idea at all. Oh well, I was going to do it and I was going to do it right. 

I scrubbed that salt/water combo right into the boards of the ship. I told the crew member I was near that if I was doing it wrong, he had to tell me without worrying about offending me. He told me I was doing it right. Well, cool. I felt like a part of the crew. The last of the touristy people had gone, my parents were relaxed down at the end of the boat, and I was scrubbing away. It was fun. It's like they accepted me as one of their own, even though I only helped them for fifteen minutes. 

They were all so kind. The fireworks were fireworks, nothing spectacular. But, I don't know, sitting on a sailboat rather than in the middle of a crowd, with the crew nearby enjoying it with us, it was just really cool. I remember sitting there thinking about how this kind of thing never happens. The first crew guy even told me that any other ship's crew would have said no to what I had asked them. And there had been hundreds of people touring those ships all day long, just part of a long line....blurred faces to the crew. But nope, we got to know the crew and sit there with the fireworks lighting up the sky. And it felt even cooler that I had earned it by scrubbing the deck. Another thing I know I'll never do again (I mean, honestly, ships aren't really my thing. I'll never do something like that again simply because I won't go seeking out that kind of opportunity).

It was one of those quiet moments that just doesn't seem real. And it was just really special. I know my parents miss me like crazy when I'm not there (and I left them all summer long). So just enjoying that with them was wonderful. The sailors were all so kind and even in that one hour of me being on that boat, we became friends. Friends that will never see each other again, of course, but in those few moments of getting to know each other, we really took it seriously and had a good time. 

Who would have thought that me going off to have a few minutes away from my parents could lead to such a fun event (and anniversary gift to my parents!) and an opportunity to meet some really cool people that are living a much different life than I am.  What a cool night in the city.

Chicago, I miss you already. 

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David

This has been a rough summer for our Covenant community. After the loss of one of our professor's sons, we have now lost one of our own. David Taaffe died over a week ago now, but the pain is still really fresh as we have lost a part of our body. 

From our President, an email no one wants to ever send:

Dear Covenant Scots,

 

No doubt many of you have heard already via personal contact or social media, but it is with deep sadness that I write to inform you that we have recently learned that rising junior David Taaffe died on Monday as a result of injuries sustained due to a fall while hiking in Switzerland. We have limited information at this point, but wanted to let you know so you can be praying for the Taaffe family in this incredibly difficult time. As children of God and joint heirs with Christ we cling to the promise of the hope of glory, and we take great comfort in knowing that our brother, David, is with his Lord and Savior already. This is a wonderful truth to ponder even as we grieve an extremely painful loss.

 

David was a Maclellan Scholar from Nashville and was majoring in Spanish. He played on the soccer team and was set to return to 2nd Central to serve as the RA there for a second year. For those of you who didn't know him, you likely would have recognized his warm smile, bright eyes, sonorous voice, distinctive afro ("Taaff-ro"), gentle and courteous manner, or intensity on the soccer field. He was a wonderful guy, and we--along with many others--will miss him deeply.

For those of you on campus this summer, or in the area, we will have a time tomorrow, Thursday, July 25 at 11:00 a.m. in Sanderson 215 to pray together for the Taaffe family and to remind one another of God's promises to his people. We will also plan on having a time to remember David and celebrate his home-going once everyone has returned to campus for the fall term.

 

We trust that our God will use even this for His glory.

 

Yours in Christ,

 

JDH

 

J. Derek Halvorson, Ph.D.

President

Covenant College

 

In omnibus Christus primatum tenens

It's hard enough thinking about our Covenant College family having to deal with this, so I can't imagine how his family is. However, we can all look forward to the day when Christ will call us home. In the meantime we can live to serve Christ in all that we do, just as David did. 

Oh love that will not let me go, I rest my weary soul in thee.

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For My Parents

My parents love geocaching. Don't know what it is? Go to www.geocaching.com.
Honestly, it's never been my thing. But what do you know....today in the park Emily spotted one in this lovely tree. So I signed the log book that we had found it!
So here ya go, Mom and Dad. Be proud.

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Finley

I know I just wrote a blog about how big and adorable my nephew is getting.

And, I'm sorry (actually, I don't think I am), but turns out I'm just really proud of being an aunt and what do you know, Finley is also getting huge. And oh my goodness, so beautiful.

Her big round eyes are killing me.

And that goofy expression on her face.

Ok so I just love my niece and nephew and I these won't be the last blogs and pictures I post about them.

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Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints

Last week on May 30, 12-year-old Daniel, son of my professor Dr. Eames, passed away.

I have a really hard time dealing with the death of children. In my mind, everyone grows old and someday will die in a nursing home. Or maybe they'll die at a little bit younger age (say, their 50s) of some sickness. Or they'll die in an accident in their 30s. But even those who die at those ages seem too young to die.

But then when children die. I just don't get it. In The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, King Theoden says at the grave of his son, "No parent should have to bury their child." And I agree. Nothing could be as heartbreaking.

I know that parents love their children so much (a lot more than kids love their parents). More than their own life. I remember one argument I had with my mom (the kind of argument that had me in my room, door slammed shut and shouting about how much I hated my parents), and my mom said to me later, though she was still upset, "Megan, I love you so much. And there is absolutely nothing you can do to ever change it." (I think I rolled my eyes). And another time I had to say goodbye to my whole family, and I hugged them one at a time. I knew I would see my parents again in about a month, so I wasn't that sad about that particular goodbye. But I got to my mom and she whispered in my ear, "I love you more than life itself," and she started crying because she didn't want me to leave. Or when my parents tell me on the phone how much they miss me, but they're even more happy that I am where I need to be at Covenant rather than in DeMotte.

Yikes. My love for my parents is displayed in my calling them and saying, "Hey, what's up, can you mail me a package?" or me writing them a letter with a picture I drew of a dinosaur stampeding its way through a village. Or me responding to them on the phone after they tell me how much they miss me with something like, "Hey, it's only been three months, I'll see you in another two months, it's no big deal." Don't get me wrong, I really love them. But I know that it's nothing compared to how much they love me. (When I do tell my mom I love her, she says to me, "I love you bigger," and I respond with something like, "Cool, talk to you later." It's because I do know that she loves me bigger.)

And so that's why it is hard for me to understand the death of children. Because parents love their kids so much more than their own lives. When children bury their parents, it's incredibly sad. Moving on is so hard without the people that raised them and loved them. I don't know how I'll handle it someday when my parents pass away.

But when kids die, and their parents are closing the casket and watching them be lowered into the ground, the parents want nothing more than to be the one that died instead. And honestly, I don't know what else to write about that, as I have never felt those emotions (or even loved someone as much as any parent has ever loved their kid). So I can't even begin to imagine it.

Being at the funeral on Sunday was so hard because I couldn't stop thinking about how hard it must be for them to lose their child. The baby of the family. Their only son. One of the few people in the world that they loved more than they loved their own life. Watching Dr. Eames lean down one last time to kiss Daniel on the forehead before the casket was closed is something I will not forget in a long time.

No parent should have to bury their child.

..............

I left for work today a few minutes early, so I decided to go check my mail before going up to the desk. Dr. and Mrs. Eames were the only two people I ran into, and suddenly I wanted to disappear. I felt so inadequate. I wanted my dad with me, because as a minister he's had tons of practice comforting people. It was just me by myself, so unaccustomed to this kind of grief, so unaccustomed to how much it is possible for  parents to love their children.

I didn't know what to say other than, "How are you?" I couldn't believe they were both smiling. And I couldn't believe that the answer to that question was "As best as we can be," rather than "Terrible, how can we deal with this grief?" Dr. Eames shook my hand (twice) and thanked me from the bottom of his heart for being at the funeral. He proceeded to introduce me to his wife and even tell her that I was going to be working for him in the Psych department next year. They were so kind. And so loving. Two incredible people that I was so blessed to talk with, even though I felt uncomfortable at first. But throughout our conversation Dr. and Mrs. Eames kept reminding me of how awesome God is.

I told them how amazing the funeral service had been. Because it really had been. I thought I would be leaving that funeral sobbing and driving with tears running down my face. But I left smiling. And happy. Because God is so good. And that funeral really reminded me of that. The pastor read Psalm 116:15 to us. "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints." God called Daniel to be home with Him. He has not called Dr. Eames, or his wife, or their daughters to be with Him yet. But God had worked through Daniel for 12 years and it was His will for Daniel to pass away. And now he is with Jesus. The whole service was a reminder to me of how we belong to God. He is the Potter, we are the clay. Our lives are to be lived to serve and glorify Him. And it is only by His grace and His mercy that we are saved. And nothing can separate us from Him. God is so good.

I cannot even begin to imagine how the Eames family feels right now. They have an empty spot at their dinner table. A bedroom in their house is now empty and silent. There is a gaping hole in their hearts that will never heal.

But they know that Daniel is in heaven with our Lord. They know that someday they will be too.

What a blessing for the Eames family to have had Daniel in their lives for twelve wonderful years. They have so many hilarious memories and funny stories that they will remember for a long time. And they will never stop grieving.

Dr. Eames told me today that grief can be hard because it is so isolating. But I don't think it should be. Grief should draw Christians closer together. I hope that God uses all of this to bring His people closer together.

And someday, when my time comes, I cannot wait to meet my Savior face to face. I am His, and He is mine. I hope to glorify Him in everything that I do here on earth and to glorify Him even in my death. And, like Daniel is now, I will be with Him for eternity.

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5 Months Old

Oops. Sometimes I forget that my favorite people in the world keep aging while I'm away from them. I thought Levi was still just a little baby. But now this 5-month-old is sitting up all by himself!! What?!

Stop growing so fast when I'm not there!!

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Superhero

I kinda felt like a superhero today. Camper after camper came to our desk saying their key didn't work. Oh, Carter doors....you confuse people.
Well the keys do work. Just not in the hands of 14-year-old girls on their cell phones who are used to everything working perfectly.
I politely asked for the key, stuck it in the lock, turned it, and click! it opened every time.
They didn't think I would be able to open it, but I did. Made me feel kinda like a superhero.
I didn't like having six or seven of them hovering behind my back in anticipation because it made me nervous and I was really afraid of being inadequate at opening some of those doors. But it was ok because I did get them.
Some of those doors really are tricky. But something about the thought of being the only one that can possibly solve the problem really is motivating in figuring it out, no matter what that means.
So you are welcome Carter campers. Glad I could help.

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Proverbs 8:22-31

"The LORD possessed me at the

beginning of His work,

the first of His acts of old.

Ages ago I was set up, 

at the first, before the beginning of the

earth.

When there were no depths I was

 brought forth,

when there were no springs 

abounding with water.

Before the mountains had been shaped,

 before the hills, I was brought forth,

before He had made the earth with its 

fields,

or the first of the dust of the world.

When He established the heavens, I was

there;

when He drew a circle on the face of

 the deep,

when He made firm the skies above,

when He established the fountains of 

the deep,

when He assigned to the sea its limit,

 so that the waters might not transgress

His command,

when he marked out the foundations of

the earth,

then I was beside Him, like a master

workman,

and I was daily His delight,

rejoicing in His inhabited world

and delighting in the children of man.

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Sketchy Quotations

Fudge Shoppe

"Made Here Fresh Daily"

What does that even mean?? 

Is it made there fresh daily or not?? 

Are they trying to imply that it's not actually fresh? 

Or not actually daily?

Or not actually made there???  

What are those quotation marks trying to tell us?

"Handmade" Stick Candy

Is it Handmade or not?? 

Are they laughing maliciously behind 

the counter because it's not handmade 

but they're making us think that it is? 

"sweet" thoughts and "sweet" memories

A Valentine's Day card. Seems nice. 

But what does "sweet" mean?? 

Does it mean awful? Depressing? Bad? 

I think thoughts and memories can be sweet but not "sweet"!! 

"Vintage" Binoculars

At an antique store, but...
Are they vintage or not?
Because "vintage" makes me think they're brand new!

"Florida's Honey" Beer

I don't even know what this is 

without the quotation marks. 

But WITH the quotation marks.

Is it made from Florida's Honey or not??

And if it is.....is that normal? 

Sounds weird to me!

This whole thing is sketchy!!

Sally's '60'
Yeah. Don't believe that for a second.
She's at least 65. Probably 70.
Nice try.


If you "want" to make things "ten" times
sketchier than "they" actually are....
Just use "quotation" marks!!
☺

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Happy We're-Not-Moms-Yet Day!

Ok, so it's Mother's Day. (Happy Mother's Day by the way, Mom.)
Well, me and my friends are not moms yet. So, naturally we celebrated not being mothers!!
We celebrated by cooking with aprons (and heels!....no pearls)
And playing Mother's Day Football! (a new annual event)
And basically tying everything we did into mothers day! (it's fun asking guys how they celebrated mother's day).

Yay. I love my friends. And maybe we'll all be moms one day. But in the meantime we are glad that we're not.

But thanks to all of you that are moms.

{Mine's pretty cool.}

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Did I really just eat that?

So.....
I ate some cow tongue tonight.
Yep. There's currently another creature's tongue in my stomach.
Service Week 2010, Inez, Kentucky.....a man by the name of Goober owned a cow that licked me. Yep, so I know just what those tongues feel like. Really rough. And strong.
And now I have eaten one.

http://notjustcereal.blogspot.com/

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Last Night

Tonight is my last night ever sleeping in Andreas. I have lived here for two years and let me tell you....I am done. So ready.

Look! It's me!

I remember my very first night ever sleeping in this building. I was a freshman and I had only just moved in. My roommate and I stayed up late talking. We were so excited about college! And we wanted to get to know each other, so what better time than one in the morning? We talked about movies, Friends, countries we'd visited, food, etc. I think I only got five hours of sleep that night (hope I get more on this last night!!)

Well, since then I became a sophomore (moved to the room next door) and had quite the year. Wow. I don't think I have ever changed and grown so much in just one year before. God was amazing. But it was hard. And next year I'm goin' up to Carter.

All of my stuff is now packed up and in suitcases and boxes just waiting to get unpacked in Apartment 16, my home for the summer. I will be staying here on campus, I will see Andreas every single day, but never again do I have to live here or sleep here!

It was good while it lasted and I have a lot of good memories. But I am thrilled to be leaving.

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Getting Away

I love Covenant. It's awesome. Beautiful campus, great people, nice rooms, Christ pre-eminent, etc. But sometimes I get overwhelmed with that feeling of just wanting to get away. I was crocheting with Amy but we knew we needed to get out of the room. Library? No. Carter? No. Mills? No. There was nowhere we wanted to go.
So we left.

We drove down the mountain. Tried Starbucks, no empty tables. Drive-thru Chick-fil-A was the next best thing and then we headed to the Yellow Deli for a place to study. After a quick walk through (seeing way too many Covenant people) we left. No tables again! Why can't restaurants get more tables??
So we just drove. Looking back on it, I'm glad the Yellow Deli didn't have room for us. Because driving and blasting music is, well, wonderful. We got on the highway, turned up the music, and went with no destination in mind. We didn't need to talk. We just sang along with Of Monsters and Men, One Direction, Mumford, Ellie Goulding, Radical Face, and The Killers. It was so great. Other people were sitting in the library, working out, or sitting in their rooms, but we were far, far away from it all.
Just driving.
And now with "Your Song," sung by Ellie Goulding, stuck in my head, it is time to sleep.
Sometimes it is just so good to get away.
Gute nacht.  

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Third Wheel

I was inspired by Laurissa Boman's blog about third wheels. Because, you know, some people are just "gifted" with being a third wheel. And I'm one of them. Lucky me. Here are just some examples of me being a third wheel. I am just too good at it. 

This would be fine except
for the major height issue.

Aww BFF love. And me. With a donut..

It doesn't get much more third wheel than this.
Cute couple. Me. Always single.

Mother and daughter in the hospital. Cute.
Oh, and me. Not allowed to hold her yet since
she was in the NICU.

Oh look who it is in the back seat. How cute.

Hannah and Emily. Cute right? Nope. Think again.

Hey, let's ride a four-wheeler.
Ok, let me awkwardly be the last
one on facing backwards.

And the grand finale is: me and my parents!!!!
Everyone else is married so it's JUST ME!!

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