Mystery

I was in the mail room, my hands were full with a hot cup of coffee and my wallet and I was trying to find my keys. It was quite the hassle because a bunch of girls had overtaken the whole mailroom selling someone's entire wardrobe and so I had no table space to set anything down. Not to mention my backpack weighed like 40 pounds all day so it was quite the struggle for me to one-handedly get my keys from my wallet and bend down and find my mailbox way on the bottom row that's impossible to see in.

But it was well worth it! Not only had I gotten a 5/5 on my latest Doctrine assignment he'd mailed back to us, but the bright pink package slip was there--my package had finally come! It was my birthday package from Hannah Brammer, mailed all the way from Germany!

I gave the mail room work study my package slip eager to see what was coming and oh....It's a huge yellow box that looks completely fallen apart. I didn't think about it too much. I figured that traveling from a different continent gives a package every right to be pretty beat up. So I somehow juggled my 40 pound backpack, wallet, hot coffee, huge falling apart package and 5/5 Doctrine homework and struggled through the awkward-looking clothing sale taking over the whole mail room and made it to the elevator (and managed to push the button with my hands full--what skill!).

I really enjoyed opening the package with my zebra print scissors. Like any little kid, I wanted to rip open the package and look at all the stuff I'd gotten but I let my patient side of me take over and I read her letter first. It was great, it's always so good to hear about her life even if we are so far apart. And thankfully this letter wasn't 18 pages front and back (yes that's happened before) so a few minutes later I was ready to look at my presents!!

First I pulled out a towel with candy wrapped inside. Cool. Good German candy eggs with a toy in the middle. I like that. The towel thing was weird, but what great cushioning right? There were two more of those. And then there was a little bunny figurine. You know....the one thing in the whole package that was breakable and it was the one thing not wrapped up tightly in a towel. And so naturally it was broken. I wasn't surprised but I also didn't want to hurt Hannah's feelings so I was bummed that something had broken. And then there was just a ton of candy!! German chocolate is the best and Hannah remembered my favorite: choclait chips! Two whole packages of them! I highly recommend them. There was a lot more candy, so much I had never seen or tried before! Oh and then there was just a tiny little koala bear key chain intermixed with the candy. His navy T-shirt said "I ♥ Australia." Cool. Thanks Hannah. I mean, Germans probably think Australia is just as cool as I think it is, so why shouldn't that be in the package.

So naturally I texted Hannah telling her how excited I was her package finally came. And of course I dug into the candy right away. It went great with my coffee! I did want to ask her about the towel thing though....I never knew Germans liked towels so much. Especially blue ones with toy cars on them in a row honking at each other. I mean hey, it was cool. But I had to ask. So I texted her something along the lines of, "What's up with the towel set? It's cool, it's just so random, where'd you get it?"

Hannah: "Haha. What towel set?"
Me: "The towel! Weren't there two?" By now I was in the library. Not near the towel set.
Hannah: "What towel? Did I send one?".... "Maybe it's not my package."

This went on for a while, probably with some really humorous frustration on both sides. I thought there was some language barrier thing going on. Maybe Germans use the word 'towel' only for huge towels and this is more of a washcloth or hand towel. So I tried to clarify its size and how it was still a towel.

But that still didn't work. I finally came back to the room and read what it said on the tag. "What does 'handtuch' mean, Hannah? That's what it says on the tag."
Hannah: "It means towel!"
Me: "Well that's what was in the package!!"

Frustrated, we moved on. She asked me if I liked the earrings she'd sent. "What earrings?" She told me where in the box they were. Well, they weren't. Nowhere to be found. There are things in this package you don't know about, and the things you tell me are here aren't! Did the earrings morph into towels and a bunny figurine and a koala key chain??

So by this point we were probably both equally irritated and equally thinking that the other was a dirty liar. Or just mental. So then I decided it was time to break the news to her. "The little bunny figurine broke on the bottom. Its feet came off." (Isn't always awkward when gifts come broken?)

"What bunny figurine??"

Hmm. Maybe something's wrong. Hannah asked me if I was sure if it was her package. I asked her if she was sure she mailed it. Obviously we both had great proof as to why it was in fact, from her (return address was hers and in her handwriting!) and why she had mailed it (she'd brought it to the post office herself and taped it shut there without any little brothers sneaking something in last minute). Ok so maybe the other person wasn't going completely insane.

I sent her pictures of everything. Sure thing, that was the box she'd sent. Only pretty beat up. But aside from the candy and the letter, she had never seen anything in that box before.

Pretty freaky huh? I kinda got super creepy sketched out feelings thinking about someone going through my package stealing (!!!) my new red earrings and in exchange, giving me some useless towel set, a bunny figurine, and a koala key chain. And I imagine it freaked Hannah out too. She had mailed that thing shut with her own hands and had filled out a customs form, saying exactly what was in the box. Saying what would (should) get delivered. But it didn't.

I'm guessing someone did a really careless job in some office somewhere, checking a whole bunch of boxes at once. Just a normal routine check that they do with international mail. Our little package of candy and earrings was probably the most harmless one out there but apparently was still worth looking into. And then they did a really reckless, careless job of putting things back in boxes and mixed everything up. Some poor kid somewhere is probably missing his car towels and wondering why the heck his aunt in Germany gave him earrings instead. I don't know.

And maybe that's not what happened. Maybe I really did get robbed. I guess we'll never really know. At least I got that candy. It's the bomb. And the letter. That's always the best part. I'll miss those earrings but at least I have a set of towels, a broken bunny, and an I ♥ Australia koala bear key chain to make up for it.

What a mysterious package to start off my 21st. Nah, overall it was pretty great. Definitely won't forget that one for a while.

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Through Christ's Eyes

From my journal.


2-17-14
    Yesterday at my team meeting for Clarkston, we heard Sam R.'s testimony. I've never known him or really even thought twice about him. Honestly, I've been pretty judgmental and always thought he was pretty weird. 
    He talked about how he used to move around a lot....like ten times....and he was homeschooled so he never really had friends and never kept in touch with any he did have.  So he's been really introverted and become really good with computers and wants to design video games. As to his testimony, though, he didn't have much to say. So he said it'd be better if we just asked him questions. Dr. C. spoke up: "How many siblings do you have?" "An older brother and a younger brother. And, well, my little sister just died in a car accident over Christmas Break.
    Oh.
    I felt awful. This poor guy. Last semester, 3 siblings; this semester, 2. That's why he skipped the meeting last week; just to be with his family.
    Everyone kind of looked away from him pretty awkwardly. I stared at him. I wanted to memorize his face. He's had years of people leaving his life, or him leaving theirs, and he's hardly a memory to anyone. And he just lost his sister. I wanted to memorize his face. I don't ever want to forget him. His story. His hurt. Hurt beyond what I can imagine.
    And so, today I wrote a note to him--Box 308. Really simple. On a notecard. I didn't sign my name.
"I just wanted to let you know I'm praying for you and your family."

And I don't want to forget. 


I want to see people how Jesus sees them. Because how do I see others? I'm really judgmental. I base everything about them off my first impression. I categorize them; stereotype them. I compare my flaws to their perfections or worse--blow their slight, quirky differences and imperfections out of proportion and therefore ignore them. I see them merely as minor characters in my main story (they don't even have their own main story). They don't know what hurt is, or what missing people is; not like I do. But how is that acting like Christ? He hung out with the lowest of people. People that had the most hurt and pain. And he didn't diminish those hurts or assume things about those people. And He certainly didn't elevate Himself above others. It was quite the opposite. He humbled Himself. Became a servant.

I am not like Christ. I judge people. I don't want to hang out with people that are completely different than me because that would be weird. And then one of those weird people suddenly tells us about his sister dying (just 2 months ago!) and I feel awful. Who am I as a believer serving Christ if I don't share others' burdens, or if I forget that others have problems? It shouldn't take things this drastic to make us realize how much others are hurting and how badly they need our love.

I think it's time to stop seeing people through my own sinful, proud, judgmental, vain eyes.  And to start seeing others as Christ sees them. Broken and struggling. Falling apart from the weight of the burdens of this world.

And yet. Made perfect in Him.

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A Grieving Campus

I wrote a blog six or seven months ago about David Taaffe. He was my classmate, a star soccer player, a Mac Scholar, an RA. But a very tragic and unexpected fall caused his death that shocked us all. My campus is still grieving. And I'm sad to say that oftentimes, I forget. I forget about David, I forget that he's gone. I hardly knew him. And I hardly have the words to write. I hardly can comprehend the grief I know some are still going through. But I wanted to share this article, written by my Resident Director.

In the Midst of Grief on a College Campus

"His absence is as present as our presence."

And it will be for some time.

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Super Bowl

With the Super Bowl coming up, I just wanted to share this article really fast:

You'll Never See This Side of the Super Bowl on TV



And as a side note, sorry about constantly re-designing my blog. I've discovered I really like change and get bored with the backgrounds really fast. Oh well. Enjoy the article.

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The South Meets the Snow

Today my mom asked me if I was a Yankee Snob. Well, no. Not usually.

Don't get me wrong. I love the South. I love living here. It's warmer, people are more polite, it's beautiful, there's mountains, etc. But seriously, people. We got about one inch of snow and that resulted in one and a half days of cancelled classes. Everywhere I went people were making snow angels and taking pictures of the beautiful snow. I could see the grass poking up everywhere. People sledding. On frozen solid rock-hard ground with just a light dusting of snow. That doesn't sound safe to me. People shoveling, not thinking to put any salt on the ground. Thanks for making ice patches for us everywhere.

I've been a nervous wreck watching these Southerners try to handle the snow. I realize that Ice + Mountain = Dangerous and the North doesn't have mountains so I should factor that in and be a bit more understanding. But they're going about it all wrong.

Oh well. I guess that's part of being in the South. Snow v. South and the snow won. Not so in the North. Enjoy that foot and a half, North. Remember how well you are handling it and how happy you all can be playing in real snow. I myself was there just a few weeks ago making snow angels and running, I mean trudging, through the 18 inches. But as for now, I will watch my friends bundle up while I put on a light jacket. I've actually been enjoying that it's a little warmer out.

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4789

God protected me over 4789 miles (7707 kilometers, Hannah) this semester. I recently added it up. I have been going so many different places and I've spent hours and hours on the road. So many different trips. Some planned for months, some spontaneous. It seemed like I never stopped. I was always going someplace new. 

Trip #1: September 29. Atlanta, GA

Total Trip Miles: 269

Ok, so I know that driving from Lookout Mountain, Georgia to Atlanta is hardly considered a road trip. Not at all actually. But hey, it adds up, and I did it twice within three weeks. So that was like eight hours of car time. So that counts for some miles. And it was so exciting, I was finally going to pick up Hannah from the airport!! For months people kept asking me when she was coming. "September 29!" Finally got to hop in a borrowed car, plug Atlanta's airport into the GPS, blast some music, and go get her! Doesn't she look great after her nine hour flight?? ☺

Trip #2: October 11-13. St. Louis, MO

Total Trip Miles: 905

This one was pretty spontaneous. Hannah was still around. It was Homecoming weekend. But Homecoming just wasn't the same without our two favorite alumni, Kevin and Virginia Witten. So, yep we rented a car and made the 6 hour trip out there. What a weekend. It was so spontaneous and I feel like with everything we did we were there for a lot longer than two days. We got to see downtown St. Louis (ok, the Arch and an old church) and go paddle boating! Tried some fantastic custard and got to hear all the behind-the-scenes wedding details from a few months before. It was such a great trip, and this road trip alone could probably have its own entire blog written about it. Hannah and I sang some pretty great songs on that road trip that, well, maybe I don't want to talk about. :) 

Trip #3: October 16. Atlanta, GA 

Total Trip Miles: 269

Well this one was definitely a bummer as it was when I had to bring Hannah back to the airport so she could go back to Germany. I tried keeping her here but she had important things to do back home. Like school. Go to a conference. Hang out with her family. Whatever. Anyway, so she had hung out with me and my friends the past two and a half weeks and it was so much fun. I brought her to both Chick-fil-A and Waffle House for the first time. We did a ton of stuff. It was pretty exhausting. But so fun. And thankfully a lot of it is caught on camera. Well, here's the last picture taken of the five of us that hung out those two weeks. It was pretty great. The drive back from Atlanta not so great though. I was sad!

Trip #4: October 19-22. Savannah, GA

Total Trip Miles: 746

Fall Break! With Amy, Emily, and Rebekah. We had been planning this for months! As this was my third trip within one week, I was definitely ready to go crash on the beach. It was great. It was so warm. And sunny. And we saw a beach wedding. And we ate lots of Oreos. And stayed up late playing Scattergories (talk about partying). It was by far my favorite Fall Break ever and with three of my favorite people ever. We explored downtown Savannah blasting our favorite Fall Break songs and taking pictures everywhere we went. And, of course, we had to experience the sunrise over the ocean. 

Trip #5. October 28. Rome, GA

Total Trip Miles: 130

 This one was spontaneous. One minute I am sitting at work in the Psych Department having a lovely conversation with someone, the next minute Emily walks in saying, "Hey, do you want to go to Rome with me and surprise Kevin?" "Yeah. When?" "Now." "Sweet." And we went. We took the back way, through the most beautiful Southern countryside I have ever seen. Blasting Cinema, All Night, Forever, A Capella, Wrecking Ball and a ton of other catchy songs that we could sing at the top of our lungs to. We finally got there, crept through the parking lot  And boy, did we surprise Kevin at work. He was dressed as a prince for the Pirate/Princess Day. And he definitely did not expect to see Emily show up. Or me I guess. Well that was cute and all but I was freakin pumped to meet a pirate!! We ate some delicious chicken sandwiches, stared at all the adorable little children all dressed up, and of course, got hit on by our waiter. What a nice way to escape for an afternoon with one of my best friends.

Trip #6. November 1-3. Alabaster, AL

Total Trip Miles: 327

This one was a bit more planned. I had to meet my nephew Reid! he was born September 4 and I hadn't been able to see him yet, so Rebekah and I drove out there and spent a relaxing weekend with my niece and nephew. It was pretty uneventful. I mean, we went to a thrift store too (What, what, what, what?), but not much happened. It was good to be away from the busyness of school and to spend time with two of the cutest babies on the planet. Finley is a blast. Reid's adorable. It was good to see Em and Lance too. It had been since Easter that I had seen them. I'm glad I was finally able to make it out there. And, ya know, Finley looks so happy to see me. With her little chicken nuggets. Not to mention she looks just like me and takes after her Auntie Megan in ever way. That's just how it works.

Trip #7. November 27-December 1. Anderson, SC

Total Trip Miles: 459

I don't think many people would take up an offer to be a third wheel, but well, I do. Greg and Janessa invited me months ago to go with them to Greg's house for Thanksgiving break. I hadn't planned anything yet (it was June!) so I gladly accepted and then forgot. Well, they didn't forget and sometime in October reminded me. So we went. I met Greg's parents and then experienced major culture shock Thanksgiving day with his very Southern and yet very Asian family. That dinner was delicious and yet the whole thing was something like I'd never experienced before, even though I've been in the south two and a half years now. The whole weekend was a lot of fun, though. Anderson is a cute little town with its very own Moonshine Distillery plenty of Antique Stores. But really, though, those antique stores were so crowded, I think that's where everyone goes for a good time in that town (but hey, look at us. We're naturals). Other than that, I got some great Black Friday deals and (a highlight) I got to shoot a gun! A lot happened in those few short days, and there's not many people I would rather third wheel for for an entire break, but I had so much fun with Greg and Janessa. 

Trip #8. December 2-4. Crown Point, IN

Total Trip Miles: 1127

I guess you could call this spontaneous, but it was probably the most necessary of all of these trips. Last day of Thanksgiving Break I found out my mom was brought to the hospital for a major blood clot. I wrote a blog about it already actually. Anyway, so Em and I were freakin out and had to see her. I got back from Anderson on Sunday, stayed at Rebekah's house Sunday night, and then Monday night met Emily and Lance in Nashville at 9 and made it to Jess's at about 3 in the morning. Four hours later we were up and headed to the hospital to surprise Mom and Dad! Basically scared them out of their minds, actually. That day in the hospital was so great, you should read my other lengthy blog about it. But then we had to get back. So we drove all through the night again and I got back to school after a week of being gone and after sleeping in five different houses while living out of the same tiny suitcase. It was a crazy week. And I was in Indiana for about 24 hours. So hectic! So exhausting. And so good to see Mom. She's doing fantastically well now by the way. 

Trip #9. December 19-Present. DeMotte, IN

Total Trip Miles: 557

Well finally the end of the semester came. It was a crazy two weeks since I got back from seeing Mom in the hospital. I spent hours in the library, I didn't have a social life, and I drank probably way too much coffee. The end finally came, I had a really fun drive with Katie, Tim, and Will. We stopped just once, at the sketchiest gas station that had a bathroom with no soap but a condom dispenser. Priorities, right? And now I've been home for a week, just hanging out with my parents, taking them to all their doctor and hospital appointments. I've been hanging out with Levi a lot. You know, he's pretty dang cute. Being home is kind of weird but it's nice not having any homework to do and I have been sleeping a lot. It's been nice. In a few weeks I'll be drivin back to school. Hopefully next semester I will be spending a little bit less time in the car.

Total Miles: 4789

Well.....that's it. I had a couple people guess how many miles I'd traveled this semester and they guessed in the 2000s. Nope. Seemed like I was always going somewhere new. It was pretty great. I have so many great memories with so many awesome people. 

Here, I made a map of all the places that called me away from Lookout Mountain.

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Together in a Hospital

On Sunday my mom was put in the hospital because of a major blood clot in her lungs. It could have killed her if it had been any bigger. Way to scare me so badly, Mom. Made me bite off all my fingernails (and let me tell you, they had been lookin' good).

By Monday at 5:00 PM Emily and I decided we needed to go see her. Nothing else would possibly put our minds at ease. We left about two hours later.

The next 36 hours were a blur. But a wonderful blur.

We didn't get to Jess's house til 3:30...ya know.....in the morning. After four hours of sleep, it was time to go see Mom. We were so close, I was so excited! Poor Mom was sitting in the hospital looking forward to Skyping me a few hours later. I think what I did was better though.

Emily, Lance, and I waited in the waiting room for a few minutes while Jess went in to see Mom and Dad. Of course I was standing there imaging all the worst possible ways to surprise them. Like just bursting through the door at full speed screaming and throwing confetti. It'd probably give her a real heart attack. Or we could have dressed up like nurses and gone in to give her a shot or check her oxygen or something and then BAM! it's us!! So many possibilities of freaking them out.

But I think what we did did the trick anyway. Jess walked in first saying, "You have visitors." There were immediate tears (ok more like mega-crazy-super loud sobs). Mom couldn't stop the flood of tears as she hugged Emily. Dad jumped up and hugged me, both of us crying. It was my turn to hug Mom next. We just couldn't stop crying. The nurses ran in the room, thinking something was horribly wrong, when in reality it was just the opposite.

Those first few minutes were so great, even if we were all crying. (Jess told me later on how funny it all actually was.) Mom was always holding one of our hands, I think it took her a while to believe that we were really there.

Those ten hours were wonderful, hard as it was why we were there. Nurses and doctors kept coming in talking about horrible things like platelets, veins, shots, needles, heartbeats and all those freaky medical things that I hate. Emily had to give me her chair because I looked pale. I took a lot of drinks to the drinking fountain. I'm really not a tower of strength when it comes to medical things like that.

But then it was finally my turn to take the lead on something. By now Mom was out of ICU, and she desperately needed her hair washed. The nurse brought us the weirdest looking pan to put under her head, so she didn't have to sit up at all. Then there was another bucket that could catch all the water as it ran out of the pan. I assigned everyone to their jobs, as I was the main "doctor" in this "procedure." Lance filled the cup with water so I could pour it in Mom's hair. She even asked who was in charge of the temperature of the water. I said, "A boy, I'm sorry." Emily held the bucket to catch all the used water, while Jessica was my main assistant in keeping the pan level under Mom's bed and getting me towels when needed and, of course, opening the shampoo bottle for me.

Mom just laid there smiling and enjoying the head massage that came with me washing it. And of course I tried freaking her out with the most doctor-like language I could come up with (to get back at them all for making fun of me so much!). "First step is to make an incision," and "I'm going to have to prepare my hands for this, this is dangerous." It was a blast. We were all laughing. If only the nurses had seen us (and Mom's wicked awesome Mohawk I gave her after I had the shampoo all lathered in). Pretty sure I even threw in a free commercial for Garnier's shampoo. It's for dry and frizzy hair. They should thank me.

She seemed ten times better after having clean hair. We all just hung out. Talked about our Thanksgivings, Skyped Finley in Alabama, read the cards Mom had gotten, hung out with the random visitors from church that came, feasted on hospital food together. It was great. I remember one time Jessica said, "Mom, want us to put on the TV or play some music while we sit here?" and Mom said with closed eyes, "No, just keep talking, your voices are my music." That made me happy.

I think the highlight for us all was Skyping with Sam. I think we woke him up with our call, but oh well. He's always been a morning person and he sounded like he was in a fantastic mood. He and Dorinda had Mellow in their bed with him. Typical Sam. He made us all laugh so much. It's like we were all together (except Josh who was at work and, though I'm probably the only one that thought of this, my future husband that is unfortunately missing out on cool things like this). Ok, but the four of us originals were there with Mom and Dad. Even if Sam was thousands of miles away. I kept looking over at Mom. Laying there just listening to her four favorite people talking and laughing. I notice things like that. I actually almost started crying at one point. Happy tears. It was so bittersweet; it's so rare that we're all together. But when we are, everything just seems right. We all laugh and joke nonstop. I don't think people understand how cool it is to see their entire family so often. I envy that.

The doctor came (or was he a surgeon....you know how I get....tuning people out when they start talking about medical/body/surgery type of things), anyway, whatever he was, he told us (all of us...Sam was still watching from the iPad) how there was a 50/50 chance that she'll need surgery. He held up his fingers to show us how big the blood clot was. Yikes. I didn't know that kind of stuff happened. Well, I just felt my heart skip kinda funny just at the thought of this blood stuff. I'm ending this paragraph now. I'm not the one to give these details.

We got a picture with Mom (Mom and her girls...heck yes I'm one of those people). I don't care if the picture was taken in a hospital. We all look so happy. But then came the hard part. I hate goodbyes in general. But this one was especially hard. We couldn't stop crying. I mean, she could have died because of this blood clot. This was pretty serious. None of us wanted to leave her. Seriously, let me just fail my exams and I'll just hang out in the hospital with her. We couldn't stop crying. I left a cute little wet spot on Dad's shirt from crying into it. I kept hugging Mom, holding her hand, crying. Making her promise she would be ok. I kissed her forehead. Leaving was so hard. The second I left Room 209 I just wanted to run right back in.

It was such a great day. I kind of hate saying that, ya know, since I was visiting one of my Favorite People Ever in the hospital, but hey....it was just so great. Filled with so much laughter and so much crying, but mostly just so much joy because we got to be all together.

God is so awesome. He's been teaching me so much about the power of prayer. I have had so many people tell me they were praying for my mom. It's been pretty cool. And how He brought us all together just for a couple of hours. It was amazing.

That's right, Wetselaars/Hubers/Millers. We're pretty great. Love you all.

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